Male attention

So where do I start? Lately my life has been a bit uneventful if not to say bleak. My Sir is away on business and....oh I don't know. I didn't feel on top of the world. Sometimes I wonder if one has to be in the sisterhood in order to be happy in Glint. They have this strong bond and get male attention from the EM. And lets face it. As a woman sometimes you just like a bit of male attention. Having said that, last night I got my male attention.
He came out of nowhere, poked me in the stomach and made snide remarks how he would have fun with me, even though I was "a bit too skinny for his taste". He drew his sword, dragged me inside the Bordello and there he...well had his fun with me. I did not scream nor did I try to fight him. He had a sword as i have mentioned and he had this crazy look on his face. Afterwards he said that he liked it and if I would ever cross his path again, he will take of me what he wants again. Because I am his fuck baby now.
Now I feel apathic. I went to church but I don't know how to pray. So I just stared at the altar for a long time. Am I detached from the world? Is being used quickly by passing strangers my fate? While being in this holy place I thought that it might be nice to become a nun. Serving a higher cause. I thought of poor Moose too, who was battered by her husband sir Hammer. Life is just not fair. And that makes me angry.Tonight I feel so fucking lonely I could cry.