It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way...
Is it not a strange thing?
I was in the bar with Legion and Jarethe the other day and Jarethe who fits so well into the scene nowadays, with his ever gloomy mood alternating with indifference, was lamenting about what has become of us and of Glint. I listened to him. I was exhausted and yet restless and terrible alert. I had spend another day surviving, protecting our children, hunting for something to eat and facing and training the overcoming of my fear of the walking dead. I looked at him and I told him...and it was from the bottom of my heart:
"But now at least everything make sense!"
Of course Jarethe looked at me as if I had gone completely mad. Legion regarded me thoughtful. He knew what I was trying to say, for he and I had talked about it before.
I believe only when a human being feels a purpose and sense in life, he or she will feel alive and celebrate the sensation of it. Before the apocalypse the life in Glint was an exsistence bare of all logic and sense.
We would walk around in a state of constant confusion, we had to dull our senses to pull through. Rape for example never made sense and was hence never a crime in Glint. We always had a large population of females on the island. The few men here could really take their pick of available females. As a result the Rapings I have viewed were always conducted in a manner of duty by the males. It was expected of the males to rape so they may prove their masculinity. But where was the desire, the passion, the lust, the fear, the challenge. More so, because of the dress code, I found myself ordered to walk around naked most days. The ever present sight of naked females had dulled the male senses. And we females did not fear rape, nor did we anticipate it. And yet, everything focused on it because it was the only sensation we were able to experience. For better or for worse.
Now, all that has changed. Our focus is not fighting the boredom anymore but on fighting death and infection. Now we are under a constant threat, a universal threat that knits us together closely in one respect but on the other hand it also gives way to a desperation that makes all of us unpredictable.
A hunger for life has raised. And this hunger causes all human emotions finally rise to the surface. Now a rape will be what it is. Either a terrible egocentric crime to destroy a woman's soul, as it happens usually in the world beyond Glint . Or to stay more with the spirit of Glint, a crime of passion. A hunger for life and the most the drastic display of desire a man can show to a woman. And for the women it is the ultimate sense of being claimed, always of course with the threat that the rapist may not be the one you would have chosen. The encounter I had with Psycho shortly before the apocalypse was like an Omen for these things to come. And was I not shaken by the experience to be claimed, to be desired so much?
So sexuality, the mirror of life in Glint has changed. There is a sense in it now. We all have won in depth.
Before I was Gera, just another available piece of meat.
Now I am a woman. I can be glorious and strong at times, when I protect the children, when i overcome my fear of the walking dead, when i learn how to use a weapon. Or I can be bad, stealing a scrap of food from a fellow hungry citizen. But I am a woman, a person. All my human facets are able to show now. And it is the same for all other citizens of Glint. We have become a community of persons, we express ourselves now and everyone becomes a character, an individual when before we were a bunch of random people who could not talk to each other, because there was nothing to talk other then idle superficial chatter. it was the age of foolishness.
Now we have in Glint the season of Light, the season of Darkness, the spring of hope, the winter of despair, we have everything before us, we have nothing before us, we are all going direct to Heaven, we are all going direct the other way joining the walking dead...