Later that day, in the evening Ma'am came to me. She hugged me tightly and held me for a long time. She told me that she had to do that to me because she is my friend and she had to show me who I am and bring me home again.
And as she was holding me I felt a deep love and gratitude for her. She said my doubts are normal and being a slave is a constant struggle. So whe i think I am no good slave material, its actually okay.
I still feel overwhelmed by it all. Maybe I am too exhausted and sore from the punishment. I feel like Winston in "1984" shortly before he is to be executed...
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