Montag, 22. Juni 2009

About love

This is a little post about love, even though it looks like the regular confession of a lawbreaker. Yes, I broke the law. And I dissapointed Ma'am. I was punished and yet to me this incident showed me something very important. Something about love. Well, the whole thing started with a new outfit my Master had bought me some time ago. A catchy little number in white. The skirt to be worn with leggings. Now leggings of course are pants. But this stupid little slave didn't think about that when she put it on. She was blissfully happy, still being in honeymoon heaven, feeling invincible. So on with skirt and pants and off to the gatheringspot where I bumped into sir Jake.
We chatted for a while, then I got up, walking away from him because...Sir Jake always makes me kind of nervous. Jacobius Bravin watched me, his eyes narrowing as my skirt flipped up a bit. I straightend my skirt, feeling Sir Jake's eyes on me, and I nervously stood on the street, confused as to where I was going.
He stood up, walking up behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder, "We need to have a talk."He quietly directed me away from the others. I followed him without protest. In the policestation .Here he backed me into a corner, his hand pressing my shoulder back against the cold stone, "Have you forgotten the rules so soon?"
I was confused and thought he talked about my house slave status but he shook his head slowly, holding me firmly in place, " I speak of the laws of Glint. Have you forgotten those so soon?" His eyes turned cold, his other hand dropping to my thigh and sliding up under my skirt to grip the cloth of my pants, "So you think you're above them, do you?" Oh I felt hot shame and cold realisation washing over me. I stood there stammering, begged him to forgive and hastily, pulled my pants down, getting all tangled up in my skirt, exposing myself unwittingly, making such a fool of myself. His hand slid between my thighs and up, feeling nothing but warm flesh, but alas, he was adament:"The offence has been done, the punishment is due"
I begged with him, reminded him of how well he knows me and he said:"I know you very well. Strict is what you need"
I had to strip, then he smiled crokedly, shifting his grip to my hair, pushing me ahead of him out of the room. Outside he opened the stocks, roughly pushing me to my knees, holding my head in place, he growled "Put your wrists in the grooves"
I did, eaten up by despare and shame, cursing myself for being so careless and downright stupid. I deserved all this, no doubt about it.
I think I started crying with shame silentl. I knew very well he did right. But this was so degrading. I had come so far, earned the respect of the community, and now this . And what would Sir Dunnagh say?
Bravin's fingers continue to stroke me, his other hand gripping my hair to lift my face to those around, "Let them see how you're taking your punishment"
My face being lifted I closed my eyes, blushing with shame. My sex hrobbed and I could taste the salty tears of shame on my lips . When I dared to open my eyes , I glances over the public place. There were thankfully only a few people about.I strained my eyes to see the street and I was almost relieved...when suddenly Ma'am appeared before me.
My heart dropped, my mouth became dry and I could not look into her eyes, so ashamed was I to dissapoint her like that.
"Hello La Presidente. We have a law-breaker here"
"A law breaker? my midwife? what did she do?"
Bravin shook my head gently by the hair, "Confess your crime"
"Oh Ma'am...Ma'am..." I sobbed now, feeling so ashamed, so terrible ashamed to have dissapointed my beloved Ma'am:"I wore pants"
Jacobius Bravin nodded, "They're with her other clothes, inside the police station"
I sobbed:"Yes Ma'am...I am so sorry...I was thoughtless...Sir Dunnagh bought me this outfit and there were pants going with it and..." I didn't know how to finish the sentence.
Ma'am and shook her head slowly :"this is how the roman empire fell - when the citizens got too much leeway"
Sir Jake said:"Maybe I should leave her to your tender mercies, La Presidente?
A time in the stocks might be all she needs"
I tried to explain my mistake, told them I thought leggings don't count as pants.
Asked them to forgive my stupidity...
"Now she even discusses with me and tries to justify, "said Ma'am
Sir Jake nodded, "And she argues... Some things never change, do they?"
"That is so true," Ma'am answered:" I bet Dun got quite a handful there".
Then they teased me for a while, pondering upon the question whether I am an exhibionist and if I secretly enjoy being handled by dominant males. And I confessed to that. Confessed to it all, drowning in shame and regret. The hardest thing was not to be in the stocks, to be humiliated...the hardest part was that I had dissapointed Ma'am and I was so afraid to loose her now.
Sir Jake left me with Ma'am at this point and went of whistling a happy tune.
Ma'am caressed my back softly: "...and, my sunrise, now?"
She traced with her fingertips along my spine, tenderly "I would really not like to have you in this thing here for the rest of the day - so , offer me something"
I tried to think hard, tried to gather my confused thoughts: "Ma'am I honestly regret and I offer you...what ever you desire from me. If there is anything at all...just worst punishment is that I dissapointed you"
Ma'am nodded:"You know, the twist for me is - I can not really be hard agaisnt you, for known reasons - still, you have to lead by example, for exactly the same reasons"
I begged her I'd do anything. She contemplated on the situation. She touched me. In the end she said halfloud, more to herself: "well, one thing is for sure - for the next two days - when Dun is absent, you are naked, automatically"
Then Ma'am smiled and kissed my back tenderly "I can not be hard on you, no matter what you are doing"And she opened the stock. I stood up shakily and instantly fell to my knees hugging Ma'ams legs, crying with relief and deep regret for my crime.
She caressed my hair "Now, calm down, my sunrise"
And I calmed, soothed by her gentleness, her forgiveness, her love.
And as I left, my heart was filled with deep gratitude and love for this wonderful, charismatic, fair but strict woman. Love can be many things. This is one of them...

1 Kommentar:

  1. Scarmon reads of the account and frowns, as angry with himself as with his favorite girl. He has known for awhile that his love and favor of her makes him soft towards her, and he knows now that she has taken advantage of this weakness in him. He finally recognizes that the situation imperils that which he loves the most in this hard world and it must stop once and for all. The girl needs a hard, stern hand or she will be ruined. His face hardens as he resolves himself to begin holding her to a hard line. He must do so or lose her. And while there is breath in his body, he will not lose her.